British politics - it's all a bit of a mess really.

Well, the local and European elections have taken place and the first results are showing that Labour do indeed seem to be getting the anticipated kicking that had been predicted. Not really a huge surprise given that Gordon Brown appears to have fewer political supporters than he has toes and his ministers are deserting the good ship Brown in droves. I was pleased to see that poisonous little midget Blears stand down as a minister. According to her it was because she wanted to go back to Salford and do more for her constituents but we all know that it was really because she's a turncoat who never got on with Gordon Brown and has always been the first flea to desert the political corpse. In fact of all the ministers who have quit, the only one with any balls whatsoever is the former Work and Pensions secretary, James Purnell. In his resignation letter he told Gordon Brown that it was time he stepped down as PM for the sake of the party and the government. Up till then they'd all cited family reasons because they are too concerned with their own seedy little careers to risk completely alienating Brown, just in case the entire opposition and every member of every other political party were accidentally to be swept into the sea meaning he did get to be PM for a bit longer and maybe win the next general election.

So the circus rumbles on and we carry on waiting to see which member of Gordon Brown's 'loyal' cabinet will stand down next. Today's offering was the Defence minister, Hutton. My but the military are going to miss him, the man who has sent them to war hopelessly underfunded, under-prepared and under-equipped. If he finds a job commensurate with his organisational skills we can confidently expect him to find him in uniform - asking if you want fries with that.

One interesting and amusing thing to come out of the European elections (and I am aware that there isn't usually anything even vaguely interesting or amusing about European politics), is that Nigel Farage, leader of the rather pointless UKIP (UK Independence Party) is furious. His reasoning? According to him, UKIP have lost valuable votes because.......the ballot paper was so large that it was folded over for ease of handling and UKIP were in the bottom half so their supporters didn't see the box and didn't put their X in it. If I were a supporter of UKIP I'd probably be slightly offended that the leader of my political party of choice thought I was too much of a halfwit to unfold a ballot paper and probably assumed that even if I managed to acheive viewing the entire form, I'd just draw a big. smiley face on the paper before licking it thoroughly and throwing it at the wall. Who knows, perhaps he's right about his supporters. I presume that the people sorting the ballot papers assumed that if a voter was bright enough to manage to get to the polling station without being run over by a big, red bus, eating glass off the road or getting their head stuck in railings, they were probably clever enough to work out how to unfold the paper. Clearly Nigel does not share their confidence in the great British public. Personally I think he's just looking for an excuse for his party's woeful performance in all areas, something that Gordon Brown has stopped bothering to do, posibly because there just aren't enough hours in the day. Actually I'm starting to feel a tiny bit sorry for him, it's like watching one of those films where someone has the worst year at work ever and each day receives a new slap in the chops. Everyone feels for the underdog. Sadly for Mr Brown, my sympathy for the underdog does not over-ride my fury at the smash and grab of my salary via taxation so I still wouldn't vote for him.